Going for Seconds....

I don't think there is a human on this planet that hasn't had regrets about a decision they've made. I've had more than I wish to divulge. I don't know what causes it, but usually after a while we tend to look at things differently. Maybe we realize we acted foolishly, maybe we start to understand the other point of view. Who knows? Either way, we have made a decision, and we can either try to fix it, or worry and contemplate that decision for the rest of our lives.

I'm not a fan of dragging shit along.

I'm not a great person, and I have never claimed to be one. I have a multitude of faults. But I think I'm a decent person.

I'm in too bad of a mood to write more.
-B-

You Have to Read This....(My best work ever)

I really felt a need and a want to write tonight, but I couldn't think of anything to write about. So... uh... thanks for showing up, I guess.

-B-

Animals....

I don't understand the hostility that is inherent in today's society. Apparently, if someone cuts you off in traffic, they need to be shot. If someone starts dating your ex, they need to be shot. If someone keeps a library book out past its due date, beat his ass down in an alley. WTF?

I guess most of it comes from anger. But it's an internal anger. Why are you mad at the world? Obviously, something is eating away at you that has nothing to do with the conflict at hand. That, or something you dealt with as a child, which would also count as something you're dealing with. Why not address that problem?

Granted, I have no qualms with ending someone that threatens me or my loved ones, and I have the means to do so. But I won't over petty bullshit.

Disagreements at the bar, business failures and traffic difficulties just aren't worth it. The only time someone should accept violence as an appropriate measure, is when violence is thrown upon them.

Like a wise man once told me, "I don't want to hear about you starting fights, but if someone else does, you better finish it."

In a world where the food we eat, with all the chemicals, is killing us. The air we breathe is killing us. Genetics are killing us. Al Gore's "System of Tubes" is telling us the ice caps are melting and killing us. And yet we keep killing each other. Over parking spaces. Over family honor. Over dick size. Fuck it. We need to grow the hell up and realize that we are one in the same. A species. And species don't last forever.

Get over the racial shit, the sexual orientation shit, and all the rest of the political BS. Be a human, and accept all the other humans.

The dinosaurs were supposedly extinguished by an asteroid/comet. We will be extinguished by ourselves if we don't grow up and accept shit.

Fuck the drama, screw the bullshit, just live life day to day, and handle shit as it comes to you. Get over the hatred and drama you've been taught. Oh shit! Someone cut you off on the freeway, but in 5 minutes, it won't matter. Anger is temporary.

I've been angry and wanting violence multiple times in my life. Fortunately, I only acted on it a few times. Now, I'm glad I didn't more often.

But, like I said before, if someone brings violence to my doorsteps (threatens my family or loved ones), I will end them. Slowly. There are times when it is acceptable.

I've rambled on for too long and I doubt most readers have made it this far. I'm done for tonight.

Goodnight/Good Day / whatever...
-B-

"Funny... she doesn't look Druish" -- Barf

Handling Life As It Comes...

The last few weeks/months have been an interesting time for me. I've learned some, dealt with some, and avoided some. I'd go into detail if I felt it was necessary or relevant, but just the fact that I've been dealing with stuff should be enough.

Mostly work related. It is the biggest cause of stress on my life lately.

Trying to get my life squared away. Trying to bring meaning to my existence.My job is causing a setback.  I do a damn good job fixing the machines that make aircraft parts. Stuff that keeps planes in the sky. I take a lot of pride in it, and the work ethic/principles I learned from my father make sure I do the best job I can. Most of the stuff we make, I can't talk about, but I do my damndest to make sure the machine makes it right. And too many people these days (my bosses/co-workers) just want to fix it fast. The 'Just get it done' attitude. Whatever happened to pride in your work?  Caring for the people that might be affected? Nah, it's all about getting it done fast, under budget, and away from corporate scrutiny. I don't do that shit. I do it right.

I understand the whole 'Time is Money' theory, but that theory is only applicable to those who are interested in the money, and not the product they sell. Money should come second. Because, if you sell quality, the money will come. If I wanted an engine rebuilt, I could pay the gas station on the corner $200 and have it in a week, or I could pay a pro $1000 and have it in a month. Which would you place more trust in?

I deal with this all the time. I get told to take my time to do it right, then get asked every 15 minutes "How much longer?" So I tell them I will let them know when I'm done. 10 min later "How much longer?"

I love my job, and what I do, but between the people I work around or with, I'm not sure the corporate job world is for me. I've suggested changes, but I am but an ant among giants. I'm not expecting any of that to happen.

So, the next time an unshaven handsome dude with shaggy hair asks if you want fries with your order, it might be me so say yes.

I'm done tonight. Goodnight / Good Day
-B-

"Be true to your work, your word, and your friend." -- Henry David Thoreau

With Age Comes Wisdom, and Bad Ideas....

I can't wait to hear the trash talking people will throw at me after reading this. But, I'm no longer convinced that marriage is a bad thing. Having someone there morning and night, every day, arguments and fights, no matter what, would be awesome.

The whole idea of waking up next to someone, whether I'm still mad at them or not would still be a comforting ideal, because they are still there. And them being there is the whole point of it all.

Currently, I wake up to couch cushions or a messy room.  And I have no reason to better my life. It's going good, but not great. I have no reason to aspire towards greatness. So I trudge along in the mediocre existence I own. Just need a good reason to fix myself. Something worth investing in. I've had it and ruined it, but now I recognize my mistakes.

I don't know. Life is good and shit, but it sucks sometimes. Whatever.

-B-

(Dealing with depression is a bitch)

Freedom.

I have recently discovered Twitter. Well I actually found it years ago, but I've finally started using it. And apparently, people actually like me.

A lot of the people on there just tell jokes and make shit up, I try to make jokes out of what is going on in my life. I try to see the humorous side of life. Sometimes it works, usually it doesn't.

I've also met, or have contacted a few people around the world, which is freaking awesome. I wish I could meet them all in person.

It's kind of amazing actually, being able to join the world together through a system of wires and satellite signals. We have the capability of creating a harmonious society, yet everyone uses the net to talk shit and act like an asshole.

In my opinion, we are now all one society. We are interconnected. We can live as one. Fuck all the religious, or racial aspects, those are for the simple people. See and admire people for who they are, don't judge them by how they look.

I wanted to talk about more stuff, but I can't remember what it was. I think I made a good point though.

I'm done. Good Night, Go Away.
-B-

"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life." --Mitch Hedberg

P.S. If any family or friends try to follow me on twitter, I'll block you. You don't want to see it, trust me.

Fun at The Mailbox.....

Just had some fun picking up my mail, here's a transcription/screenplay of the highlights...

(Me walking to mailboxes, a shout comes from a patio) Douchebag: "What up retard?"

Me: "Huh?"

DB: "Yeah you, who let you out at night?"

Me: "I suppose you are trying to communicate with me, you uneducated piece of shit."

DB: "huh?"

Me: "Exactly what I expected. Now,I don't expect anything resembling a logical answer, but what made you think I had mental difficulties?"

DB: "Cause you're f%$#in retarded, you were walkin like a penguin and swaying back and forth. Even retards know a few big words. Keep denying it."

Me: "I walk funny because I have bad knees and a bad back. Things associated with working for a living and developing self-worth. You obviously associate your self worth by how many chicks you can nail in a night. Oh, and by the way, the girl you have your arm around... she has three kids. They aren't here this weekend, daddy has them. And they are loud and noisy as hell. She also has an ex that shows up from time to time and requires a police roll out to get him to leave. Did she tell you any of that? Did you just jump at her thinking "Wow, you're pretty..." Yeah, I walk funny and check my mail at night. You screw your life up by poor decisions and think muscles make a man."

DB: Fuck you.

Me: "Hahahahah, I'm going to read my mail now, have a good night."
----------------

I have learned to dislike calling people retards. Or saying someone is retarded. Retarded means slowed down or behind. Like retarding the timing on a car. But it has become an insult, a joking term, something that is stupid and such. I have several friends and family members with sisters, brothers, cousins or kids that have mental or physical disabilties that would tend to have them considered "retarded." But they aren't. Their brain may not function like ours, but it is working as fast as it can. It's not slowed down or handicapped. "Retard" has become an insult like the N word. So we need to quit using it. Just about everyone has a relative or a friend who has mental or physical deficiencies. So by insulting anyone, you are insulting everyone. Just say Stupid instead.

I'm done.

-B-

What the F%$@

(Reader discretion is advised. Profanities might be rampant in this.)

Religion and faith tell us that everything happens for a reason. To either teach us something, or to renew our strength in that faith. Yet I'm an angry spiteful bastard, and someone that could be, and tried to be friends with everyone he came across was robbed of his life? It doesn't make any fucking sense.

The old saying of "Only the good die young" is extremely relevant in this case. He was a good friend, a good dad, and an all-around good person. Me? I'm not really a good person. A lot of the times I only do things so that they will benefit me. But yet, I'm still here, and he's not. The Way Of Jesus says this was God's plan. That we need to find meaning in this. I can't. For all the reasons I've already said, I can't find meaning in it. I've spent the last several years bashing and discrediting religion. I turned my back on the religion I was taught since birth. I've been a horrible bastard to multitudes of people. Yet, I'm still here. Still free to spew my bullshit. Why wasn't I chosen to be removed?

Everyone keeps saying stuff about how he's in a better place now, and I hope that's true. I just wish that "God" knew that his influence would be better served among us mortals. He was a really good friend to pretty much everyone. We need him here, and though he'll always be in our hearts, having him in our lives would be better.

Goodnight and sleep well Jason. You will be missed by all who knew you.


-B-

Like a Song Unto Myself....

It's a song by Mumford & Sons, but it could basically be words I need to speak to my own self.....

It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand

So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
 I'll know my name as it's called again.....



I'm done.

-B-

The First step....

The first step in dealing with any problem is admitting you have the problem. And I must admit, with shame filling my soul, that I enjoyed watching more than one musical movie. "Paint Your Wagon" will always be the the only manly dude's musical, but "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" is funny and really good. It's another gem from Joss Whedon, and it features Felicia Day, Nathan Fillion, and Neil Patrick Harris. Good stuff. I'm posting it below in it's original 3 parts. Enjoy....









Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

"Four Sweater Vests!" -- Chorus

Goodnight/Good Day/Go Away.

-B-

The Obligatory Asterix...

Nothing good in life comes for free. There is always the obligatory * right next to it. Meaning there is probably a hitch, a downside, or possibly a deal-breaker.

Recently a good situation has fallen into my lap. I really don't know why. I didn't deserve it by any means, but I'm going to hang onto it with a crazy grip as to not let it slip away. As with any new relationship, you slowly start to see those * thingys show up. Sometimes they're piddly things, sometimes they are things you need to adapt and adjust to, and sometimes they feel like a shovel smacked across your face. And nowadays all of those things can usually end up being means for discontinuation, an ending, severance of communication. But that's because people are petty nowadays, and feel entitled. They don't feel they should have to work for anything.

I've got those * things sitting on my plate, but I don't see them as a threat or a deterrent. I view them as a challenge and/or opportunity to prove who I am and who I can be. I lump challenge and opportunity together because, lets face it, us dudes usually need to feel challenged for us to ever do anything spectacular. My opportunity is something awesome, and my challenge is to not screw it up.

Basically all I'm trying to say is that nothing is perfect. And every possible relationship you might come across is going to have at least one * next to it. If they can accept it and work with it, then life will be good. A few years ago I was the "Absolute Confirmed Bachelor for Life." But I've grown older, I've learned to accept things....

And the best of those things is having someone to wake up next to / fall asleep with every day. Someone you care a lot about. I'd say "love" but I still haven't experienced this phenomenon.

I hope you will pardon my language on my next point...

Fuck the *. If you like the person enough, all the challenges associated will be easy to handle. Just keep your mind focused in the right direction, and its a straight shot to happiness.

"Will you define your obstacles as a wall, or a mere hurdle?" -Me

Good Morning / Goodnight / Go Away....

-B-

Not What I Expected....

Life is weird as hell. I don't believe there is any possibility of it being preordained or planned. Everything happens too randomly. I do believe that actions now will create situations down the road, but it's not written as a script to my life. If there is a "God" and preordained life is true, then that dude has been busy as hell. Five and a half billion people on earth, and every second of their life has been planned and scheduled. Doesn't make sense to me.

Time to run out on a somewhat related tangent...
If everything was planned and set in stone, wouldn't it have been easier (and a better use of time management) to drop this situation in my lap 20 yrs ago? It would have been an easy assignment, pencil whip* it and turn it in. And the possibility of the good years that could have happened in that time far outweigh the possible negatives.

All of this just reminds me that life is nothing but randomness. It's all in how you handle it. I apparently handled it right and my past has, for once, rewarded me. There might be challenges, difficulties, and all that, but the randomness of the universe has turned in my favor. This time I plan to hang on for the ride instead of running away.

And if you don't believe in random weird possibilities, I had not spoken to or seen the one I'm talking about in probably 15 yrs or so. I'd call it fate, or The Plan, but I don't believe in that shit. I'll just call it Luck. But as with any lucky situation, you gotta watch it play out to see if it really is. So, we play it by ear from here. Let the chips fall....

*Pencil Whip: the act of avoiding any real work and just putting positive check marks for everything on the list and turning it in.

I'm done. Goodnight/Good Day/Go Away

-B-

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” --Robert McCloskey

One Hundred and Eighty....

All my life I've been against marriage and having kids. Even though I'm still not keen on bringing any more suffering on the world in the form of smaller versions of me, settling down might be an option.

Like most dudes, I've always wanted to be the coolest bachelor out there. Do what I want, when I want, where I want. And for the last several years, I've done exactly that.

As I get older, my brain gets louder in the form of suggesting shit for the future. I'm not going to be young forever, not going to be in shape, or have interest in running around town.

As much as I'd love to pass on my genes like good hair, the eyes, and the naturally awesome physique, I'd also pass on the bad attitude, bad eyesight, and potential balding. Add in the influence from me, and you'd have a damn good looking, long haired, blind kid with no hair and a talent for insulting people he doesn't know.

I like to think I'm a good uncle, I'm good with kids in limited contact. But, who knows, that may change in time.

Basically, all I'm saying with all this is that I have an opportunity to change my life, but there is fear in doing such. Just don't want to screw it up.

Going to do my damnedest to pace it though.

I'm done for tonight.

"Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly."-- Mae West
-B-

Listen, but don't think....

http://www.gty.org/Resources/Questions/QA110_Where-is-heaven

Read the article. It is funny. It starts with "Scripture clearly teaches that heaven is a real place that can be seen and touched and inhabited by beings with material bodies. We affirm that truth unequivocally."

Then switches to "So heaven is not confined to one locality marked off by boundaries that can be seen or measured."

So... We can see, touch, and inhabit heaven, but it is a place that is in a dimension that we cannot see or find? I don't get it.

If someone can explain this crap to me, logically, I'll listen. Until then I'll stick with Darwin.

-B-

Slave to the Machine....

So... I have recently re-activated my Twitter account. I don't know why. I guess I have this theory in my head that people might be interested in what I'm doing at any moment of the day. I don't update it that often, but I still feel a bit of shame for even thinking that my life is interesting to other people. And even more shame for the arrogance that causes that sort of thinking. But, on the other hand, I don't post every time I'm out shoe shopping or when the paparazzi are chasing me. So I guess I'm not as cool as most of the other people on there. I only use it for entertainment purposes. Like when I think of something funny, or when I want to repost something someone else posted that was funny. I know there isn't anyone on this world that really wants to know how many times I signed autographs, posed for pictures, recorded an album or farted in someones car. It's a lot like this blog, I really don't care about any of it. I write what I want. Either it's an attempt at humor, or it's an opportunity for me to vent.

And with both the Twit and this blog, feedback is always welcome. As long as it isn't preachy or angry. Speak your mind. Maturely if possible.

-B-
or
@HuevosGrande

The Time Has Come....

I guess it's been a while since I've written anything. I think the last one was around the end of November. I don't really know what to write about. There isn't much bugging me or inspiring me right now. I just think I should at least ring in 2011 with something new.

Hope you enjoyed it.

-B-

"Always leave them wanting more." -- Walt Disney