What the F%$@

(Reader discretion is advised. Profanities might be rampant in this.)

Religion and faith tell us that everything happens for a reason. To either teach us something, or to renew our strength in that faith. Yet I'm an angry spiteful bastard, and someone that could be, and tried to be friends with everyone he came across was robbed of his life? It doesn't make any fucking sense.

The old saying of "Only the good die young" is extremely relevant in this case. He was a good friend, a good dad, and an all-around good person. Me? I'm not really a good person. A lot of the times I only do things so that they will benefit me. But yet, I'm still here, and he's not. The Way Of Jesus says this was God's plan. That we need to find meaning in this. I can't. For all the reasons I've already said, I can't find meaning in it. I've spent the last several years bashing and discrediting religion. I turned my back on the religion I was taught since birth. I've been a horrible bastard to multitudes of people. Yet, I'm still here. Still free to spew my bullshit. Why wasn't I chosen to be removed?

Everyone keeps saying stuff about how he's in a better place now, and I hope that's true. I just wish that "God" knew that his influence would be better served among us mortals. He was a really good friend to pretty much everyone. We need him here, and though he'll always be in our hearts, having him in our lives would be better.

Goodnight and sleep well Jason. You will be missed by all who knew you.


-B-