Age & Maturity: The Destroyers of Youthful Dreams....

I, like the rest of you 3 people that might read this, get older every day. Some say we get wiser each day we live. Some say we grow dumber, and more lazy with each day, because technology makes it so. I won't deny that I enjoy the ever-expanding lazy aspect of modern tech, but thats not what I'm wanting to drill into your mind with this writing excursion.

I would like to try something new. But first you must clear your mind of all opinions of your life now, so we can dig into your youthful aspirations. Are you ready? Are you sure? (This might get ugly...) Ok, here we go....

I want you to think back to when you were between the ages of 16 - 18. Did you want to get married? Did you want to produce small replicas of yourself? (AKA: Kids.) Did you think that money would be a deciding factor in either of the above? And, did you feel rushed to achieve any of the above?

Now, I want you to look at your life now. Have any of your feelings on the previously mentioned things changed? And if so, how?

If they have changed, and you are not where you imagined yourself back then, have you managed to find a silver lining on that cloud? Or are you bitter and angry?

Alright, I'm done with all the questions, and I'll get to the point.

I never wanted to get married. Never wanted kids. As I've gotten older, I've continuously thought about how messed up a kid would be if I was raising them. A quote I heard on TV that I felt related very much to me was something like: I fear that a child following my lead, would become horribly lost. I've always thought that way. But.... as I continue to age, and that awful, dreaded wisdom continues to creep in, I find myself relaxing a bit on the issue. Yes, I'd love to have someone to fall asleep next to, and wake up against every day. And, I'd probably get a kick out out of mowing the yard, painting the picket fence, barbecues on the weekends, cleaning the gutters, and all that nonsense. And as far as the kids go, my nieces and nephews love me, so maybe that's a sign.

Maybe it's just my aging, and deteriorating brain, or that fact that I'm finally growing up a bit, but, a physical, emotional, and mental feeling of attachment to someone is something that sounds really good.

My main thought right now is to just delete this all, and forget about it. But, I'm working on becoming a better writer, and to do that you have to speak your mind sometimes.

I'm done for tonight.
Goodnight / Good Morning / Go Away.

-B-

"What you call the disease, I call the remedy. And what you're calling the cause, I call the cure." --TMMB