Mr. B says READ THIS! (Or Else...)

 Apparently, well at least as far as current news is telling me, I can make anyone and everyone read this worthless, brain-melting, angry, and stupid blog. So, read it! Or else I'll hire those greasy lookin' guys on the back of the phone book to sue you and make you submit.

Let me explain....

There's this church in the Phoenix metro area that recently(a couple years ago) opened shop in a quiet little neighborhood of people that have, for the most part, owned their houses for multiple decades. The previously mentioned church installed a bitchin' stereo setup at the top of their tower so that they could rock the bells every hour on the hour. Now, this little community has a lot of senior citizens who, as we all know, tend to enjoy their "peace and quiet." Several of them, even though some may have been religious people, did not want to deal with the bells constantly banging away. In fact, there was one lady who couldn't even stand to go out and do her gardening anymore. Something that she loved doing more than anything else. So they complained. They contacted the cops, they contacted the city, and they contacted the state. The church was told to knock it off. They could spin the disc of the bells on Sunday mornings for 2 minutes and on religious holidays. In my understanding, the church decided that they should only have to answer to a higher power, and that since the bible says song is the highest praise of God, they were gonna keep on clanging away. Well, the law came down on the locals' side. Since the preacher in charge didn't comply with the court order, he had to suffer punishment. Suspended 10 days jail time, with 3 yrs probation.

Now here's where it gets sticky....

That church, along with a couple others, is suing the City of Phoenix. No, this isn't another one of my jokes. It's true. The lawsuit is filed in Federal Court.

They are claiming that since the Noise Ordinance Law allows Ice Cream Trucks to crank their chimes at 70 decibels to the distance of 50ft, (the church's bells were 67db at the nearest property line,) then they are being singled out in some form of persecution. According to their Senior Legal Counsel, "After all, bells are meant to be heard. But the city's problematic ordinance is being used to inconsistently single out the peaceful sound of this time-honored expression of worship while allowing exceptions for others."

Sorry dude, but clanging church bells aren't exactly what I'd call peaceful. The whole point of church bells is to get peoples' attention. To get them to focus on their god or whatever. Cripes, the point of any bell is to get somebody's attention. School bell? That means "GO TO CLASS!" The bell in a fire station? "GO TO THE FIRE!" The bells that ring in Muslim countries, basically say "HEY, It's time to pray dude!"(I know, it is my understanding that Muslims don't ring bells, but they sing or chant or whatever through a PA system. Either way it's the same basic point. Get over it.) If you really believe that bells are peaceful, I offer my services to sit by your bedside and ring a bell to help you fall asleep at night. Not a tiny little silver bell, but a nice "peaceful" 67 db brass bell. It may be loud, but it's a time-honored expression of worship. So it should be ok.

Well, let me break it down for you Mr. Senior Legal Counsel, (I wish I had a title like that. All words capitalized and such. Oh wait, I do, I'm 'Mr. B').... In every neighborhood I've ever lived in, the Ice Cream Dude/Dudette rolls through maybe once a day. Possibly twice on the weekends. And he keeps rolling by. The loudest you will ever hear his music is when it's right in front of your house, and that's only for a few seconds. Plus, If he stops for kids, adults, or whomever wants to buy something, the music stops as well. He's not parking in front of your pad for two minutes, blasting that crappy calliope tune, every hour on the hour, from 8 am until 8 pm, 7 days a week. And if he did, yeah, I'd call the cops on his ass too.

My thoughts? If the court says they can blast their bells whenever they want, then the court is basically saying everyone has to accept those religious beliefs. Which goes against the Constitution. The government CAN NOT force any type of religious service upon the masses. And obviously, the masses have already spoken.

Besides, in my experience on this planet, I've heard a hell of a lot more people yell "WooHoo! Here comes the Ice Cream Guy!" than I've heard "WooHoo! It's time to go to church!"

But you know what, I've changed my mind. You chase that lawsuit, because I hope you win, and have that whole "Noise Ordinance" completely removed. Then when people roll past your house at 3 am with their stereos cranked, the bass rattling your fine china, free from prosecution because "Music is my religion, man!", I hope you are ready to partake of the can of worms you've opened.

Anyhow, you better have enjoyed this. Because it's my personal beliefs, and you have to accept them. If not, I'm gonna find my own fancy-titled guy to sue you and make you read it every hour on the hour until you do. Because I can apparently file suit against whomever I need to, to make you accept my thoughts, theories and beliefs.

Bah, I'm done picking on the idiots of this world for awhile. Society has saddened me enough for tonight/today/whatever.

Go away.

-B-