Gadgets, Apps and Add-ons Oh My!....

I've noticed that as we dig ourselves deeper into this pit known as the "Digital Revolution," we seem to become more reliant on it. We use it to pass along thoughts, or current opinions(Twitter), share experiences along with photos and background info in case you wanted to ask us out (MySpace, Facebook, Friendster, oh the list goes on and on....) or to just rant endlessly/share experiences/brag about your family/ so on and so forth.

This "Digital Revolution" is an awesome thing. I will not attempt to discredit that fact. It enables us to keep in touch with tens, hundreds, and even thousands all at the same time. For example; all I have to do is log into my FB account and in the status box type in "I'm Hungry." Instantly everyone on my friends list knows I'm lacking in nutritional sustenance. This type of power can be used in an infinite number of positive ways. But, the opposite is also true.

There are probably millions of so-called "upgrades" or downloads out there that claim to enhance some aspect of your PC/Mac/Phone. And there is a numerous amount of those that are nothing but harmful. They'll tap into your system, learn your passwords, and record all of your regular contacts. Basically, don't download anything that isn't guaranteed "clean" by a software company you trust. Or you can do like I do.... I pretty much know my PC has been hijacked in some way or another, so I just download everything that comes my way. If they're leeching off of  my computer, well then I will supply them with as much as I can. I'm more than happy to pass along a virus from one A-hole to the next.

But anyways, back to my original point. It seems these days our main form of communication has become either texting, email, or something like "Twitter."
Yes, it's nice to have instant access to all that info in an immediate fashion. And, yes it's a very good way to send quick messages to people without completely interrupting anything.

But, what if you want to hear someones voice? Who knows, maybe you really like that person, and their voice gives you a form of comfort. Or maybe they have a really sexy voice and you just want to hear them talk to you.

With either of those scenarios, would you rather hear them say "You are great, and I really like you." or having them text " U R grt, I rly leik U"?

As I've gotten older I've grown to dislike spending a lot of time on the phone. I see it as an interruption to my life as it's playing out. BUT, there is one exception; I thoroughly enjoy talking to the girlfriend on the phone. The only explanation I might have for this phenomenon was mentioned a few inches above.

I've run out of things to say. So, I'm going to call it a night...

Goodnight/good morning

Whatever.

Go Away.....

-B-

It's All About the Money....

Holy Cripes Almighty.... there are commercials everywhere. The Unholy Internet has friggin commercials.

This is just sad.

Standard broadcast TV, Radio, DVDs and such, I can understand. But YouTube? Or MySpace videos? Didn't both of these organizations sell for multiple millions of dollars in the recent years? Weren't they worth the millions spent to buy them? Yes they were. And not because they made you watch a stupid commercial before the video you chose. It was because of the OPTIONAL links located all over the place that you had a choice to view or not. Those links made mad cash from all the suckers in the world(A sucker born every minute? That's a lot of dough) who believed they could've won an easy million, or had a chance at winning a Ferrari just by clicking their mouse once or twice. It's like waving a candy bar in front of the fat kid or jingling keys near a baby. It's too friggin easy.

BUT, apparently, that's not enough for the corporate bastards of the world anymore. Yes, they still have money rolling in; but no, it doesn't keep up with their ever-expanding wants. While us normal folks have learned in these dire times: that if we can just get our bills paid, and our stomachs filled. we'll be ok. These haughty, white-collar pieces of shit will not abide by just breaking even. There must be profit! So, first of all, they lay off hundreds of people. When that brief reprieve starts to taper off, they cut benefits of those still employed by them(or make the employees pay a significant share of the benefit's cost.) Meanwhile, the corner-office pricks are still getting bonuses for any small sales they might gain. And most of those dicks/dickettes don't have half of the education or training that the lower level people do. They are just related or engaged to the daughter/son of one of the bosses. Or they just love to pucker-up and plant it on the stinky.

I CANNOT abide this. Whatever happened to the world where the working person is what made the world go round? Why do the people we elected to represent our opinions, and vote accordingly, bow down to some lobbyist who either offers them kickbacks or help in the next election? Why do I have to watch a commercial for Sprint phone service before I can watch the video I clicked on? Yet I can watch PBS for an hour without any commercial interruption.

I understand the idea of commercials before videos, it's so they can sell shit. But if the videos are that popular, why don't they just write up the sponsorship contract to say they want a certain amount of cash for each time anyone watches it. Logos posted all over the page and all that. Maybe a short commercial at the end. If someone wants to hear what they have to say, they'll acknowledge it with a click of the mouse. If not, they'll do as I do, and keep right on moving.

Anyways, I'm done. I'm not sorry if I bored you, or alienated you. By now you should know better than to read this crap that I submit to the world.

I'm done....

Go Away....

-B-

Bah, That'll Never Happen to Me....

I've spent my life trying to be somewhat of a decent person. I try to treat people right, well, I do if they deserve it. If one of my friends or family needs some help, I give it when I can. Yet even though I usually want to do good, evil is always right there beckoning.

I'm going to limit this junior-varsity writing example to just one subject....

Common thievery.

I won't say I haven't had my opportunities at this sort of thing, because everyone has. But I've never been really interested in snatching someone else's stuff. The main reason being: How would I feel if it was happening to me? Up until recently I've never had to experience it personally. That all changed this morning. And it blew my freaking mind....

It all started with "The Call."

I get a phone call from my roommate telling me there was a situation at the apt. After some prodding I find out a pricey amount of our stuff has been borrowed without permission. (Cue the emotional gauntlet.) This is where it spirals down. Imagine one of those old black and white slapstick comedy movies where the comedic heroes are traipsing through the jungle and random palm leaves keep smacking them in the face; well it's kind of like that, only not funny. On one hand, you want to know what happened. On the other, you want to know if everyone is ok. On yet another you want to know which of your favorite things is gone. And on even yet another, you want to know if you still have time to kill the son of a bitch before the cops get there. All in one instant, you have query, you have worry, you have fear, and you have anger. And you have to control them all. This was new to me.

I came home to find my place robbed of many of my prized, expensive possessions. Yet, I blamed nobody. Well, nobody but the worthless piece of shit who thought he could rob me and get away with it. And he didn't get away with it. Thanks to the Ladies and Gents with badges.

The one thing I don't get is why it happened. Why steal stuff? Even if you can find someone to buy it, they'll be buying it at a fraction of it's value. Why not get a friggin job and watch your income get higher as you go along? Or even better yet, why not act like a man and face the hardships of life, instead of just causing more upon others.

Basically, there are two ways to be remembered. You can be a dipshit, and be hated for eternity, or you can step up and be respected.

It's your choice.

I'm done.

Go Away.....

-B-

Ahhh.... Be Still, My Heart.....

There are many, many, many things in this world that can bestow happiness upon an individual. Sunshine, a cool breeze, the smell of bacon in the morning, closeness with friends and family, nieces and nephews thinking you're completely awesome, or if you're a young'n; getting to hang out with that cute girl who sits in the front row and hold her hand for the first time. I admit, all of those are wonderful things to experience, and have caused a smile or two to ruin the near constant furrowed brow and overall unpleasant look that I so enjoy displaying. BUT, nothing, and I do mean nothing compares to that wonderful pitter-patter sound of....

.....Steel cleats tearing into Astro-turf.

Yes, fellas and honeys, it is that time of year again. The time of year when Sunday actually does hold a form of significance and reverence in my life. It's pigskin time Baby! And yes, Mr. Williams, I AM ready for some football.

There may be some of you who wonder what the big deal is about football. Or maybe you have the jaded outlook about how the players are grossly overpaid or just a bunch of dudes who enjoy hurting people within the bounds of the law. And, you could be right on both counts. You have to put the money issue into perspective though. You can't just look at it as a guy who's getting paid $10 mil for 4 months worth of work. It's actually a year-round job. They have to stay in shape, which means constant workouts. Every year there are changes to the playbook that they have to memorize, and some coaches' playbooks have hundreds of mapped-out plays in them, and that helps discredit the "stupid meathead jock" myth.

You're probably still thinking that $10 mil is too much for even a year. Actors and actresses make far more, for a hell of a lot less work. Most movies take around 3 months to film, and there are a lot of people making around $20 mil, just for that one film. Some of them are:  Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Tom Hanks, Bruce Willis, Eddie Murphy, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Nicolas Cage, Julia Roberts and Will Smith (who currently tops the list of highest paid actors). Now, in my estimation, guesstimation or whatever you want to call it, these folks will provide 90 to 120 minutes of entertainment for me to enjoy, once or if I'm lucky, twice a year. And if it's twice a year, then they got 20 mil for it. Professional athletes on the other hand, I'm crossing all lines between NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL, and any of the others; well, they provide me with multiple MONTHS of entertainment. Granted, I only really pay attention to the NFL, which only gives me one game a week. And in that game the star player will make 300 grand or so. Well, Charlie Sheen makes around $850,000 per episode of "Two and a Half Men" which also only comes around once a week.

Anyhow, it just popped into my head that I'm not getting paid to promote professional sports, so I'm going to cut it short. If you find something entertaining, and are willing to pay to see it, there's a good chance that there are millions more out there that are just as willing. If someone knows they are helping to sell that product, they are going to want their deserved cut of it.

I know I probably haven't sold anyone on the awesomeness of football. Or why it's the most watched sport in the U.S. But think about it, which sport attracts the coolest and most expensive commercials?

At the very least, if you encounter someone watching a game of any sport, don't start spouting off about all the negative aspects of it. Just let it go. Sports are like soap operas to some of us. We have to know everything that is going on, every last bit of the juicy details, and we want to be able to pass it along, scene by scene to our friends the next day.

Well, I'm done rambling incoherently for now. Mostly because its time to go check ESPN's website.

Goodnight / good morning / or whatever.

Just go away.

-B-

Mr. B says READ THIS! (Or Else...)

 Apparently, well at least as far as current news is telling me, I can make anyone and everyone read this worthless, brain-melting, angry, and stupid blog. So, read it! Or else I'll hire those greasy lookin' guys on the back of the phone book to sue you and make you submit.

Let me explain....

There's this church in the Phoenix metro area that recently(a couple years ago) opened shop in a quiet little neighborhood of people that have, for the most part, owned their houses for multiple decades. The previously mentioned church installed a bitchin' stereo setup at the top of their tower so that they could rock the bells every hour on the hour. Now, this little community has a lot of senior citizens who, as we all know, tend to enjoy their "peace and quiet." Several of them, even though some may have been religious people, did not want to deal with the bells constantly banging away. In fact, there was one lady who couldn't even stand to go out and do her gardening anymore. Something that she loved doing more than anything else. So they complained. They contacted the cops, they contacted the city, and they contacted the state. The church was told to knock it off. They could spin the disc of the bells on Sunday mornings for 2 minutes and on religious holidays. In my understanding, the church decided that they should only have to answer to a higher power, and that since the bible says song is the highest praise of God, they were gonna keep on clanging away. Well, the law came down on the locals' side. Since the preacher in charge didn't comply with the court order, he had to suffer punishment. Suspended 10 days jail time, with 3 yrs probation.

Now here's where it gets sticky....

That church, along with a couple others, is suing the City of Phoenix. No, this isn't another one of my jokes. It's true. The lawsuit is filed in Federal Court.

They are claiming that since the Noise Ordinance Law allows Ice Cream Trucks to crank their chimes at 70 decibels to the distance of 50ft, (the church's bells were 67db at the nearest property line,) then they are being singled out in some form of persecution. According to their Senior Legal Counsel, "After all, bells are meant to be heard. But the city's problematic ordinance is being used to inconsistently single out the peaceful sound of this time-honored expression of worship while allowing exceptions for others."

Sorry dude, but clanging church bells aren't exactly what I'd call peaceful. The whole point of church bells is to get peoples' attention. To get them to focus on their god or whatever. Cripes, the point of any bell is to get somebody's attention. School bell? That means "GO TO CLASS!" The bell in a fire station? "GO TO THE FIRE!" The bells that ring in Muslim countries, basically say "HEY, It's time to pray dude!"(I know, it is my understanding that Muslims don't ring bells, but they sing or chant or whatever through a PA system. Either way it's the same basic point. Get over it.) If you really believe that bells are peaceful, I offer my services to sit by your bedside and ring a bell to help you fall asleep at night. Not a tiny little silver bell, but a nice "peaceful" 67 db brass bell. It may be loud, but it's a time-honored expression of worship. So it should be ok.

Well, let me break it down for you Mr. Senior Legal Counsel, (I wish I had a title like that. All words capitalized and such. Oh wait, I do, I'm 'Mr. B').... In every neighborhood I've ever lived in, the Ice Cream Dude/Dudette rolls through maybe once a day. Possibly twice on the weekends. And he keeps rolling by. The loudest you will ever hear his music is when it's right in front of your house, and that's only for a few seconds. Plus, If he stops for kids, adults, or whomever wants to buy something, the music stops as well. He's not parking in front of your pad for two minutes, blasting that crappy calliope tune, every hour on the hour, from 8 am until 8 pm, 7 days a week. And if he did, yeah, I'd call the cops on his ass too.

My thoughts? If the court says they can blast their bells whenever they want, then the court is basically saying everyone has to accept those religious beliefs. Which goes against the Constitution. The government CAN NOT force any type of religious service upon the masses. And obviously, the masses have already spoken.

Besides, in my experience on this planet, I've heard a hell of a lot more people yell "WooHoo! Here comes the Ice Cream Guy!" than I've heard "WooHoo! It's time to go to church!"

But you know what, I've changed my mind. You chase that lawsuit, because I hope you win, and have that whole "Noise Ordinance" completely removed. Then when people roll past your house at 3 am with their stereos cranked, the bass rattling your fine china, free from prosecution because "Music is my religion, man!", I hope you are ready to partake of the can of worms you've opened.

Anyhow, you better have enjoyed this. Because it's my personal beliefs, and you have to accept them. If not, I'm gonna find my own fancy-titled guy to sue you and make you read it every hour on the hour until you do. Because I can apparently file suit against whomever I need to, to make you accept my thoughts, theories and beliefs.

Bah, I'm done picking on the idiots of this world for awhile. Society has saddened me enough for tonight/today/whatever.

Go away.

-B-