Movies Are Ruining My TV Memories....

Just watched the trailer for the new A-Team movie. I was unimpressed. Not only did the horribly edited, constant, rapid fire switching of images throughout almost send me into seizures, it also let me down. Big time. It looks like this will be yet another instance of some hot-shot director thinking he can make a badass TV show into a movie franchise. Odds of success: I'd say 1 in 100. Or, basically, a 1% chance. Now there have been a few TV shows that have made a successful transition on the big screen. Superman, Batman(especially the newer movies), Firefly(Serenity was an extension of the show), Transformers (some people hated it, but it made boo-koo dollars. Which amounts to success), and umm.... Hmm...

I guess we could also look at the ones that didn't fare so well. Dukes of Hazzard. Get Smart (decent movie, but the predictable jokes brought it down a bit. Alan Arkin's parts, and getting to stare at Anne Hathaway made it worth the $9 though), G.I.JOE was like the Heisman Trophy winner of years past. So much potential, so many ways you could turn it into something big, and yet the viewer finds themselves sitting there and thinking "If it wasn't for the rare genius moments of Sienna Miller in a leather cat-suit, or Rachel Nichols running on a treadmill, I'd demand my money back. And ask for restitution for pain and suffering." In the past people have tried to convert shows like Car 54, Dragnet, a couple of different attempts at Knight Rider (that only ended up being TV movies), and none of them worked.

I think it all boils down to the idea that TV shows fit into a certain formula. Each week the characters find themselves in a new and exciting story line that will be solved by the show's end. Turning that show into a movie presents a shopping list of problems. In the movie you have to assume that no one ever saw the show(some people have never heard of the A-Team, or Dukes of Hazzard.) So, therefore you have to devote a bit of time to the backstory of every plot-oriented character you have. Which takes up time. But you can't get too in-depth with the stories or the die hard fans of the show will get frustrated with all the reminders and wonder why you don't just move the current story along. Joss Whedon nailed this tactic to the wall with Serenity. He established the history within the dialog. Little hints here and there, not too much, not too little. Just enough to draw the viewer into the world on the screen.

But, I think the reason Serenity did so well was because it was still fresh in peoples' minds. It was only 5 yrs after the show was on TV. Therefore, they could drag the original cast in and make it work. Dukes of Hazzard or A-Team nowadays? How many people out there want to watch a bunch of 50+ yr old dudes trying to fight bad guys and drive hot-rods? Not many. Which is why they always stack the cast with the "Who's Who" of Hollywood. Sometimes it might work, but Liam Neeson as Hannibal Smith? Maybe I just don't get it. Though I am kind of interested in seeing Sharlto Copley's version of "Howling Mad" Murdock. He kicked ass as a freaked out semi-neurotic dude in Distict 9.

Maybe it's just a desire to preserve the integrity of my nostalgia. A need to view my heroes and idols as I did when I discovered their awesomeness for the first time. I don't want their badass quotes and catchphrases watered down and diluted to something kids these days might like. Imagine Ben Affleck playing Dirty Harry and saying something like "I totally know what's going through your mind. It's like, 'Did he shoot 11 rounds, or 12?' I'm so high I can't really remember myself. But this, this is a 9mm. It ain't much, but it'll get the job done... eventually. So you gotta dig deep within your soul and ask yourself, Do you feel like Karma is on your side dude?"

In what is possibly the worst idea of I've heard of remakes/re-imaginings being made.... True Grit. One of The Duke's best movies. I thought his flicks were off limits. NO one, and I mean NO one can be the badass cowboy like John Wayne could. Clint Eastwood solidly latched on to the number two spot, and other than Lee Marvin, no one comes close. Jeff Bridges is an awesome actor, one of my favorites, but he's no Duke. And trying to claim the identity of a character made famous by John Wayne will probably alienate a lot of people. Despite an all-star supporting cast including Matt Damon, Barry Pepper, and Josh Brolin; I think the movie will fail.

Anyhow, I'm done trying to force my opinion upon you for now.

Goodnight / Good Morning / Whatever

-B-

"Well, I have the inclination, the maturity, and the wherewithal... but unfortunately, I don't have the time" --- Jebediah Nightlinger(Roscoe Lee Browne in The Cowboys)