Not What I Expected....

Life is weird as hell. I don't believe there is any possibility of it being preordained or planned. Everything happens too randomly. I do believe that actions now will create situations down the road, but it's not written as a script to my life. If there is a "God" and preordained life is true, then that dude has been busy as hell. Five and a half billion people on earth, and every second of their life has been planned and scheduled. Doesn't make sense to me.

Time to run out on a somewhat related tangent...
If everything was planned and set in stone, wouldn't it have been easier (and a better use of time management) to drop this situation in my lap 20 yrs ago? It would have been an easy assignment, pencil whip* it and turn it in. And the possibility of the good years that could have happened in that time far outweigh the possible negatives.

All of this just reminds me that life is nothing but randomness. It's all in how you handle it. I apparently handled it right and my past has, for once, rewarded me. There might be challenges, difficulties, and all that, but the randomness of the universe has turned in my favor. This time I plan to hang on for the ride instead of running away.

And if you don't believe in random weird possibilities, I had not spoken to or seen the one I'm talking about in probably 15 yrs or so. I'd call it fate, or The Plan, but I don't believe in that shit. I'll just call it Luck. But as with any lucky situation, you gotta watch it play out to see if it really is. So, we play it by ear from here. Let the chips fall....

*Pencil Whip: the act of avoiding any real work and just putting positive check marks for everything on the list and turning it in.

I'm done. Goodnight/Good Day/Go Away

-B-

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” --Robert McCloskey

One Hundred and Eighty....

All my life I've been against marriage and having kids. Even though I'm still not keen on bringing any more suffering on the world in the form of smaller versions of me, settling down might be an option.

Like most dudes, I've always wanted to be the coolest bachelor out there. Do what I want, when I want, where I want. And for the last several years, I've done exactly that.

As I get older, my brain gets louder in the form of suggesting shit for the future. I'm not going to be young forever, not going to be in shape, or have interest in running around town.

As much as I'd love to pass on my genes like good hair, the eyes, and the naturally awesome physique, I'd also pass on the bad attitude, bad eyesight, and potential balding. Add in the influence from me, and you'd have a damn good looking, long haired, blind kid with no hair and a talent for insulting people he doesn't know.

I like to think I'm a good uncle, I'm good with kids in limited contact. But, who knows, that may change in time.

Basically, all I'm saying with all this is that I have an opportunity to change my life, but there is fear in doing such. Just don't want to screw it up.

Going to do my damnedest to pace it though.

I'm done for tonight.

"Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly."-- Mae West
-B-